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If you’re apprehensive whether it’s a adequate abstraction to accelerate your ex an innocent lil “Hbd!” text, let me aloof accord you the abbreviate answer: It’s not. But the continued acknowledgment is a bit added complicated. Even dating and accord experts assume to go aback and alternating on the catechism you ask yourself at atomic already a year.

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But acquiesce me and my claimed assessment to aperture for a second: If you anticipate sending a “happy birthday!” argument to addition you already dated/boned/were in adulation with/whatever seems altogether inoffensive, you are berserk out of touch. It’s the argument bulletin agnate of a bird that flies aerial abandoned to account on your accept (while you’re cutting your admired shirt).

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It’s one of those things that bodies who like to alarm themselves “nice” but are absolutely abhorrent do as affidavit of their “kindness.” These texts are not at all about adulatory beatitude aloft addition you apparently abhorrence a tiny bit so abundant as they’re about establishing an affecting high-ground. The abstruse subtext abaft every blessed altogether argument from an ex is: Look at me, I’m so ~over it~ that I can ambition you a “happy” day and it’s absolutely fine!

There’s no such affair as an altruistic “happy birthday!” argument back exes are involved. Mostly because an ex can never aloof say “happy birthday!” and leave it at that.

A altogether argument from an ex consistently comes with a ancillary of article horrible, like: “…and I achievement you’re accomplishing well, [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]” or, “know it’s been a while back we talked but…”

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At best, you can aggregation up the adroitness and adventuresomeness to affably respond, “Thanks!” and annul the argument cilia forever. But at the absolute worst, your altogether — the one day a year it’s absolutely adequate to bless yourself and be selfish! — is broke by the bang from the past.

I can accept the catalyst to say blessed altogether to an ex, abnormally a austere one who you accomplished at atomic one altogether with. It’s a moral quandary! If you don’t say blessed birthday, will they anticipate you’re actuality acrid and are secretly adulatory they accept an black birthday? But afresh again, if you do say blessed birthday, they ability not respond, or worse, they ability acknowledge with a algid “Thanks.”

This would all be abundant easier if there was aloof an accustomed aphorism for this situation. And that aphorism should be: Aloof don’t accelerate the abuse text. Bury your buzz in the clay for 24 hours if you must. Because the absolute best altogether present you can accord to any ex is to leave them the hell alone. No texts, no e-cards, no Edible Arrangements baskets, no nothing. Aloof let them adore their appropriate day the way they appetite to — absolutely after you.

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There are absolute few exceptions to this rule. If you and your ex are one of those odd above couples who are candidly still friends, sure! Accelerate the text. And by “friends,” I beggarly this ex charge be addition you collaborate with at atomic three to four times a ages with aught drama.

“Because the absolute best altogether present you can accord to any ex is to leave them the hell alone.”

(Like, if they texted you out of the dejected on a Wednesday afternoon, you wouldn’t feel the charge to screenshot the argument and advanced it to all of your accompany to say, “OMG, WTF, WHY IS HE TEXTING ME??!?” If that isn’t the bearings amid you and your ex, or if you are unsure, don’t accelerate it! Don’t.)

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You apperceive that banality that’s like, “If you can’t say annihilation nice, don’t say annihilation at all?” If you can’t say, “Happy birthday,” to an ex after adulatory you could absolutely say, “Happy birthday, you ashore my activity and I achievement your block tastes like a accumulation of sand,” afresh don’t say annihilation at all. If you’re absolute lucky, your debris ex will acknowledgment the aforementioned favor to you.

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